Coping with conflicts

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Every individual is different. So are the two people in a relationship and the difference leads to conflicts- PROBLEM ALERT! Calm down, stop panicking and fussing around . So what the fun here is, coping with the conflict. Recently I myself have been dealing with a lot of disagreements and the best part is when you have people who point out Yes I am aware we are having difference in opinions and you are making it messier. So I decided to set my head right. I started researching and reading how do I better handle a situation I am in and guess what it all pointed out to (1) STOP ASSUMING! Yes, I said that I know I said that when I cant control my own assumptions, we women are great thinkers and are experts at complicating and finding out the inner hidden meaning of a said statement (If you only know what I mean). (2) Now I am talking here of MADNESS MANAGEMENT, count backwards that really helps or dive into your bed -take a nap. Anger is normal like any other emotion but 3 hard fast rules to be remembered is : Number 1:Its okay to be angry but not okay to hurt yourself Number 2: Its okay to be angry but not okay to hurt others Number 3: Its okay to be angry but not okay to damage properties And its not okay at all to use foul words, because it only increases the conflicts and causes tremendous damage to the feelings of others, remember the rule number 2!! Do not build a tomb of your anger, just let it go. (3) Thirdly it is WHEN TO SAY WHAT, find the right time and the right way to put it. Listen and just do not lend your ears. Sometimes when we say something our intention would not be to hurt or it might not seem hurtful to us in any dimension but the others may consider it hurtful. So know your person well!! (4) TOOLS use them, by tools I mean timely tools, use multiple tools and tools that you find is the right. Use them accordingly: Postpone, Avoid, Ignore, Apologize, Compromise, Chance, Humor, Share, Take turns, Negotiate, Talk it out and the last tool GET HELP! Based on how different people manage conflicts using different strategies they are categorized into: The turtles, The Sharks, The Teddy Bear, The Fox & The Owl. The turtles are those who withdraw, and cover themselves into their safe shell. Peep out turtles, because you never know how beautiful it is out there if you stayed in. There is no heroism award for a constant withdrawing and giving in. The sharks forcing out their solutions always trying to overpower and intimidate people, as they want to be the emerging winners not concerned about the needs of others. Dear sharks of the majestic ocean you are rude and need to lighten up. Take it slow u sharks out there. Tell yourself it is alright to lose and that even the best of us are wrong at times. Be a good listener. While the Teddy bears wants to be accepted and liked by others and believe conflicts are destructive and should never be discussed for peace and harmony of the relationship and tend to give up on their goals! That is indeed too much of sacrifice you teddies. Stress is of a concern out there, you might end up losing your fluffiness by making others happier. So don't smoothen on the conflict too much, let it lose discuss it out. You need to speak up and state your concerns and it need not be aggressive. The foxes find a way of compromising on a little of their goals and relationship and persuade the other to also do so, we see you are cunning and finally the happiest, sensible owls who seek solutions that satisfy the goals of both the people and maintain relationship. Hoping you guys found the category into which you fit and had a useful read through. See you guys until the next time! Haffun! References: Chitra Danger, "Dealing with Conflicts", The Hindu www.learningandleadership.com www.positiveparentingconnection.net www.durantisd.org